conversation with a model

Here is an ad I placed on craigslist a little while back:

Models...Still looking (Greensboro area)

Amateur photographer seeking models for artistic photographs--nudes and implied nudes preferred, but not a must.
No experience needed; age, race, body type not an issue.
Contact me with questions or for samples of my work.
Also seeking interesting locations to photograph.
Serious inquiries only, please.
(Not a paid modeling gig, but you'll get copies of the resulting pictures.)

And here are excerpts from an email/text conversation I had in response to the ad. I have not edited this conversation for grammar, spelling, or content. I’m just cutting large chunks of it, as it was a week’s worth of messages. The italicized bits in brackets summarize what I’ve cut, etc.

HER: im interested but I would like to see some of your work !

[I sent some pictures and links.]

HER: nice pics I would like to work with you .if we do a shoot I would like to do a parts shoot! I love to perform I love to have my body parts photograth its a big turn on for me.the onley thing is I aways were my mask when I am shooting. if you think you can come to me for the shoot I want to do a shoot in my bed room .I know it will take your time and gas .so if you like I will give you a free full bod massage to comolteion for your time after the shoot ! let me know what you think kay.

[She included a few pics of her in the mask. It was dreadful.]

ME: Well, I'm not opposed to some pictures that don't show your face. I've done a few, either with the pose or angle you couldn't see the model's face or it was cropped in that way. And I'd be quite happy to do that sort of thing.
I'm open to meeting up--if that's at your location, that's fine--and seeing what we can come up with.
But I have to be honest and say that particular mask is a little bit disturbing. It's sort of scary...reminiscent of a S&M sort of thing, and that's not really my aesthetic. I'm just concerned that the mask is such a strong image it might throw me off a bit. 

Do you have other, different masks?

HER: sure I will take a few pics for you tomorrow and.if you will download all the pics in my pc so I can see that thy don't have my face in them I will not put on a mask. but I will have to see them befor you leve I have kides and I have to be verey discreet . I love showing my parts for you to shoot just not my face at all in any pic. this is something I love to do it gets me excited knowing someone is taking pics of just my bod parts and I love doing it.i have some sexy outfits I would model for you. and if you come to me it will save me gas and I will give you a full bod rub to comp if you like? I have a massage table and I like to give and receive a good massage.

[We exchanges several more messages. I said I wasn’t so sure about the massage; she said, “no worrys”.]

HER: How about tuesday at 10am?

ME: Sure. I’ll put it on my calendar.

HER: Good i hope you like doing parts shoots thats what i like to shoot! I will do more with my mask on!

HER: Would u like to see a few parts pics idone i have time send u a few?

[She sent some things: close ups of her breasts and vagina.]

HER: Im not a small person but i hope ok with you . I like doing parts in my home in my bed room i.dont have a problem with you touching me if u need to adjust me for the shoot ! Sometimes men get a hard on shooting me no worrys i will give u a massage and get u off on my massage table if u like ? And when we r shooting u can rub oil on me if u think i need it im ok with that.

ME: Um...well, we’ll just have to see how things go.

HER: Lol i just want you to know im comfortable with you touching and all .i see you do a lot of nudes do your models let you touch and rub over there tits and pussy .i get excited when im being photograph i like being touched.

ME: So, that’s not what I do. When I put an ad on craigslist, it wasn’t to find someone to fool around with.

If you wanna do some nudes, I’m totally into that. But if you’re mostly looking to get of...well, I’m not really your guy for that. It’s just not me.

HER: Sorry i did not meen it like that at all .i did a shoot with a model one time and all she talked about was how the guy put his hands on her i just want u to know im ok with that that’s all : )

[I was somewhat concerned, but I thought maybe it would be fine. If I was going to her place for pictures, I could just leave if I felt uncomfortable. So, a few more messages.]

HER: I will i think i give you the wrong impression about me . I just love have a man look at my body it makes me fill good.

ME: Ya know, I think the impression you made is quite clear. And as I said before, I’m interested in making some nice pictures. If you want to do that, we can get together and make that happen.

[It turns out that I was also exchanging messages with her husband. He had a similar style of writing. No sex-talk, though. But I was a little wary of a few things with him—the location, the fact that he contacted me to model for him on a site where I’m listed as a photographer, etc. So, between the red or red-ish flags with each of them, I decided that it was too much. I just wasn’t going to meet with either of them.]

ME: I’m feeling less and less comfortable with the idea of coming out there to work with you guys. So good luck in the future.

HER: I just want to know how this happened ?? R u sure u talking to my hubby?

My hubby says we all good .if u don’t want to come to me i will come to your place . Tomorrow if you want to shoot me? I will do what ever shoot u want !

ME: Well, thanks, but I really don’t’ think this is gonna work out.

HER: That’s ok u have a good night ! This has never happened to me befor lol.

I know its late but my hubby just ask me to ask u if its ok if he calls u .he just wants to talk to u and say hes sorry for the mix up?

ME: No. I’m going to bed.

HER: Ok ill tell him u have a good night ! No worrys u want here from me or him ever again : )

Well…that was a month ago, and, to their credit, I haven’t heard from them since. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I’d gone to meet them and take photographs and/or be photographed. It would probably have been fine. But some of her messages were just a little too much for me. That’s just not what I’m looking for.

But it points out an issue that I know some people have with the nude photography: they think it means sex, or might mean sex if everyone’s up for it. For some, that’s a plus, like an added bonus. Whoo! And for some it means that I, the person taking and/or appearing in these nudes photos, am a bad, evil, sinful, dirty person not to be trusted. (See: “So, what happened to Mississippi?”) 

This whole thing is just made worse by the people on tumblr, etc, who’ll post really nice, artistic nudes right next to what is clearly, no question, just plain ol’ porn. I’m not saying porn is wrong, but it’s different from art, and not recognizing, or pointing out, that difference just confuses the matter. Sure, you can take something not created as nor intended to be pornography and use it as porn, that is, strictly for sexual pleasure. It could be anything: artistic nudes; National Geographic pictures of topless native women; someone’s baby pictures; crime scene photos…whatever. Someone could use any of that stuff for sexual excitement, and while the act of doing so might be considered pornographic, that doesn’t change the nature of the original material.

Anyway…I’m still looking for models, people who’d be willing to pose for me. No sex involved, and no porn. I promise.